Making My Bed

I've never really been much of a routine person.

In fact, if I'm anything, it's an efficiency person. I like to get things done quickly. This is not for lack of quality, necessarily, but the timeliness of things allows more time to do other things. Like, I am really bad at leisurely walks. I move too quickly for it to be enjoyable and am often told to slow down.

So that pretty much directly translates to my routines. For example, I don't really wear a lot of make-up, because if I did I'd have to wake up earlier to put it on my face. And I really value sleep. Thus, I've also never been much of a bed-maker, as that takes time that I generally don't have when I'm running to catch the bus, and if I'm just going to climb into later that night anyway then there's no point.

I mean, that's how I used to think.

I've started making my bed. I'm an adult now and that feels like an adult thing that I should be doing. And it is, easily, one of the best decisions I've made in my life.

I started making my bed around a month ago. The first time I did it was mostly on a whim. I wasn't doing so well in the brain and was down in a lot of ways. But one morning I was awake before I normally am, so I had extra time, and I made my bed.

It takes like, a minute.

I just stand up, transfer all of the things on my bed (like my phone, or books, or clothes I decided not to wear) to my side table, and then shake out my sheets. First is my top sheet (which I have decided I am VERY pro-top sheet, and if you don't have one you need to be washing your other blankets regularly. so many germs, people!!), and then the green blanket I stole from the closet on the first night we moved into our house, and then the cheap but warm Amazon blanket I bought that I pretend is a comforter.

After that if I have to transfer stuff back to my bed, I do. If I don't, though, my bed is nice and made and waiting for me to return to after a long day. A few weeks ago we were out doing something (a baseball game, maybe?) and I'd forgotten that I made my bed and the literal physical joy that I felt upon returning home to see it made was overwhelming. Never in my life did I think making my bed would make me feel so good.

I started doing a lot of little self-care things, actually, so that was just the start.

Sometimes if I'm up early enough I'll read my tarot cards. I know there's a lot of opinions out there regarding the use of tarot cards, but I'm not using them to predict my future or anything. Instead I use them as a meditative and reflective tool to look within myself and see what it is I need to be focusing on. My go-to question when I read my own cards is "What is it I need to be thinking about today?" and then I go from there.

I also have started waking up earlier in general. While I no longer get to silently commute with Carly (once we were on the bus and it was barely 8am and she tried to ask me my opinion on the US prison systems, like I could form a response???), I kind of enjoy commuting by myself. That way if I want to change seats I don't feel bad about it, and I get to wake up and listen to music without the pressure to communicate. Along with that there are WAY less people on the 7:45 bart than on the 8:15 bart. So waking up earlier and commuting earlier gets me in the office earlier, closer to 8am, which gives me a lot of silence to get some early work done. Which is helpful, because my brain starts to give out in the afternoon, so it's nice to have that chance to be in the office alone and be focused.

I've also taken another crack at my novel. My New Year's resolution was to finish it before the end of the year, which is still my goal, but I also would like to have the first draft complete by the end of my service year. Which may not happen, as July is apparently quickly approaching, but I'm trying. I don't know if I've in depth talked about it but my novel's about a summer camp (shocker) and I really love the characters a lot. They've been in my head for literally years after I wrote a short-story for one of my creative writing classes Sophomore year about a prank war and they continue to linger. It makes me feel warm when I return to my writing and see these characters that I love, that are full of pieces of real people that I know and love. I just sent my mom the first chapter for Mother's Day and she immediately started bothering me for more, so I take it that she likes it. And I like when people like it! I created this thing and other people who exist outside of my own head look at the thing I created and are like, neat. And it is neat! So that's been good.

And, like mentioned in a previous post, I'm trying to work on myself spiritually as well.

The good news is that I have a great support system, and the better news is that spirituality is something that is always shifting and changing and growing.

AKA - a lot of the small acts of self-love that I've been participating in have been really good for me in a spiritual sense. You can make anything spiritual. I think a lot of my own personal spiritual struggles have been because I don't really have a spiritual self. So without going into a lot of detail, I'm working on it. And I think I feel more grounded than I have in a while.

Not like, roots in grounded. But at least I can feel it beneath my feet.

I also tend to be a big believer in how your thoughts shape the world around you. This means when I put a lot of good energy into making my bed or reading my cards or writing my book, I feel good. I've framed my thoughts about these things to be encouraging and rewarding, and so I am encouraged and feel rewarded once I partake in them.

Another thing I'm working hard to shape good thoughts around is my community.

Last night as spirituality night I got a little emotional. To be fair I'd had some wine and also a bit of a long day, but those feelings were genuine and sincere. There's a path in my life that I could've been on that would've led me away from this place, and as devastating as it was then (and sometimes remains to be), I wouldn't be where I am now had life not happened the way it happened.

The Ella Baker house, God bless us, can be a bit of a mess sometimes. While we all have connections that we can make and have made with one another, we're Vastly Different People. I mean, that's what happens when you throw seven strangers in a house together. But last night when I was thinking about our house and talking about our house I started tearing up, because I really do think we're in a good space right now. I know maybe not everyone in my house feels that way, and that's okay! Maybe they're reading this shaking their head at me for being oblivious or something.

But the bottom line in all of this is that I live in a community where I feel like I can express my needs and my values and my concerns and feel heard. And even if others in the house don't understand or relate, I trust that they will give me that space anyway. But the thing that makes this important is how hard we've worked for it. We have our bumps now, and I hope I don't upset anyone by saying this, but the house used to be tense. We were all coming at things from our own lens, including myself. But I really truly genuinely believe that we all own a pair of glasses now that contains lens from everyone, and while maybe we get frustrated at X Y or Z, it's nothing like it used to be.

I like our messy, eclectic house filled with people who make me laugh when I least expect it. I like coming home to a bed that's been made. I like browsing Pinterest for hours to create character boards for these things that live inside my head.

I never thought I'd be a routine kind of person. But I think I really like it.