Introvert Saturday

My house is pretty evenly divided in terms of introverts/extroverts.

I claim to be an ambivert most of the time (we exist!!! Stop the binary!!!) but if you look into the main difference between introverts and extroverts - it’s where they draw their energy. So, for the sake of this post, I’m embracing the full introvert title.

Quick recap of introverts/extroverts: introverts draw their energy from spending time alone, while extroverts draw their energy from spending time with other people. Forget everything about shyness or exhaustion or Type A vs Type B people, and just focus on that. The -troverts is all about where you’re getting the energy that can push you through the rest of your day.

For this, I am definitely an introvert. I like being around people, I really do, and I can be loud and excited and involved in crowds, but when it comes down to it I need time alone. I need to grab my laptop or a good book and just be by myself.

It’s vital to my existence. Having that space for me to be myself is vital to my existence. I feel strongly that introverts are wrongly represented in the world. They’re often seen as lazy and quiet and maybe a bit selfish because of their lack of desire to like, do things, but it’s not true. I love to do things. I just have to be at like, an 80% charge if it’s in a big crowd or super active. If I don’t have that time to sort out my thoughts and just decompress, I can get super anxious or super stressed. Sometimes our house dinners get so long that I feel the need to stand abruptly because I can’t do it anymore. It feels like sensory overload even though nothing’s really happening, but many people are talking. That’s just how I function.

It’s important for me to write all of this out because I know, for some people who don’t function this way, it can be super difficult to understand. It’s just not how they maneuver the world. Many extroverts can’t even fathom the idea of spending time by themselves, let alone enjoying not interacting with other people. I don’t know how many times I’ve explained this part of myself to people to hear, in response, “I just had no idea.”

Which is fine! Communication, explaining feelings, these all lead to good and functional societies that we live in. The more we educate about what introverts needs and how they feel and how they exist in the world, breaking down the stigma of being an introvert, the better. Hence my rambling.

Anyway, today was my second Introvert Saturday that I spent with my housemate Amanda, who is also an introvert.

A little background on Amanda: she also worked as a summer camp counselor. We know many of the same songs, but we know different tunes. We once sat on the couch for like an hour giving each other camp riddles to figure out. We both love Target more than we should admit.

A few weeks ago we had our first Introvert Saturday, which came after a rough couple of days. We boarded the train around 1 and spent most of the day in San Francisco. I hadn’t been to Fisherman’s Wharf so we walked around to see the seals, enjoying the nice weather. Our goal of going into the city was go to Patagonia and to buy some tea. We did a little more than that.

On our way to Patagonia, Applebee’s $1 margaritas distracted us, so we ended up sitting in the bar in Applebees for longer than intended. We only had one marg, but yes, they were only one dollar, and yes, they were very good. The two of us spent a very long time trying to get the Applebee’s workers to explain to us the catch, but there wasn’t one! Just, $1 margaritas! It was amazing.

From there we hiked over to Patagonia where we spent an absurdly long time deciding what to buy. Ginny had sent me a handy Friends and Family Discount so we weren’t paying full price for their cool gear, but we tried on a million different sweaters/jackets until deciding what we wanted to buy. We even befriended one of the workers.

It was his first day, and we asked him two questions. The first was - where are the rain jackets? He redirected us to them and told us all of the great features, mostly that they were waterproof, and then he left us alone. Then we found some cool sweaters and we found him again asking - does this shrink in the wash? To which he responded, no of course not.

“This is actually my first day and that’s, like, the only two things I know about Patagonia so far so I’m glad I could be of assistance.”

“Oh, we know,” Amanda said. “Your parents actually paid us to come here and make you feel good about getting a job.”

We modeled for the mirrors and joked about modeling for Patagonia to which our new friend told us they actually had open positions for Patagonia models, so keep an eye out for the latest Patagonia ads and you might see some familiar face!

Just kidding. Maybe. We won’t let the joke die, so who knows.

From Patagonia we took the bus all the way to the mall where we bought some tea and some pretzels, and then from there we went to Target where we both probably spent WAY too much money but like, Target is a place of dreams so who cares. (I care, oh my God it was too much money, I hadn’t been to Target in MONTHS and had so many things I needed.)

After that we came home and Amanda dyed my hair (if you noticed it’s been reddish in some photos lately, that’d be why!) while Carly sat by, joining us for the tail end of our evening, and we drank wine and we put on face masks, the perfect end to an Introvert Saturday.

Today was more of the same. We’re bad influences on each other. Money is rare in an LVC year and yet, we find ways to spend it. Today we ate at The Melt, which is just like, a grilled cheese place and was so freaking delicious, and then from there we went so I could buy a new pair of boots, and then after that we went bra shopping for way too long before ending the evening with Starbucks.

These are fairly detailed accounts of what we did on our Introvert Saturdays, but that’s not what makes them important. What makes them important is that, as we meandered through the city of San Francisco, is there was no rush or urgency. To be honest, there wasn’t even much of a plan. We could go this way if we wanted or that way, we could stop and listen to the man outside of the mall as he sung while his friend played the drums, we could do things without having any real expectations that the day would end up a certain way or not.

It feels like so much pressure these days is put on Getting Things Done, and Introvert Saturday is not that. There’s a vague notion of what we want to happen, but that isn’t the point. The point is to catch up on the week, to feel like a functioning member of society, and to mosey around without those feelings of needing to go-go-go! Introvert Saturday is about being yourself, an introvert, with another introvert who knows how you feel when there are too many people in line at the Starbucks.

I’m lucky to have a human who understands the needs of being an introvert and is willing to make a full day out of it, embracing the title rather than pretending we’re something that we’re not.

So, take care of your local introvert! The one-on-one bonding of a filled but relaxing day is the best way to have the best of both worlds. Make your walks through the city, spend too much money, and then don’t get too upset when your introvert disappears to their room immediately after. It’s not because their day with you was rough, it’s because their day with you was great and now they need to recharge for tomorrow.