Wise Men Say

This past weekend I spent roughly a total of twelve hours in an airplane so I could spend roughly a total of 48 hours back in Maryland.

I don’t have any qualms about flying. In fact, I really like flying. There’s something overwhelmingly beautiful about that space between takeoff and flying, and flying and landing, where you’re close enough to the ground below you that everything is clear. It’s beautiful. It reminds me of those comparisons between like, human bodies and the universe. City streets look like veins, erratic, constantly flowing with something.

No, flying is cool. Turbulence can make me kind of anxious but not always. There’s also something really, really appealing about sitting in a seat surrounded by strangers who aren’t going to try and interact with you for X amount of time.

My first flight was from Oakland to LAX *insert me singing Party in the USA here, on repeat for an hour*, and then I flew from LAX to BWI. Hilariously one of my friends who works as a flight attendant landed in LAX literally twenty minutes after I had, but I had already started boarding my new plane so I didn’t get to see her.

First glimpse of MD in a month!

The first flight was short, the second was horribly, terribly, long and cramped. My favorite sky people Southwest didn’t have any flights when I needed them so I had to fly my new least favorite sky people, who charges you for everything from carry on bags to snacks. Snacks! I hadn’t eaten dinner, and no way in hell was I about to pay three dollars for one chocolate chip cookie.

The seats were way too squished together and I didn’t wear enough layers and the woman in front of me had this high, shrill voice and spent the entire time I wanted to sleep talking. Why? Great question, I don’t have any answer.

But still, there was something beautiful about that flight. I blinked myself awake more than once to look at the stars, and my God it was so many stars.

When I landed in BWI all I wanted to do was sleep. My mom was picking me up and she rushed to her feet the second she saw me. She was wearing this ridiculously hideous rainbow sweater that I know she must simply adore. It was great. We went to Chick-fil-a and then I slept in her bed from around 9:30am (travel time to get home!) to like, 1pm. Adjusting backwards to east coast time and the longest flight of my life made it a little hard for me to want to be awake.

I got to see my cats and my brother and even my dad for a brief period of time. Minutes, really. I love my family an absurd amount, but in the end, I wasn’t there to see them.

Dad: You’re telling me that you flew all the way home for a wedding but you’re not going to come home for Thanksgiving?
Me: Thanksgiving happens every year! This wedding doesn’t!

He wasn’t actually mad, he was just happy he got to see me for a little bit. But I digress. I flew over 2000 miles to watch one of my best friends in the entire world get married.

Karl & Caitlin, this one’s for you.

My mom dropped me off with Kyle and Ginny who I hung out with for the remainder of the day. We sat down for dinner at some place and I was so dehydrated from recycled air that I downed my entire glass of water and then the extra that had been placed. I drank maybe six glasses of water. I felt bad because I was actually really excited to be there and see them, but God was I tired. I just kept yawning and blinking to stay awake.

When I got to the Ridge Inn that night I fell asleep and didn’t wake up once. I honestly and truly absolutely adore my roommate, but sleeping alone in a bed that smelled kind of like home was such a blessing.

In the morning, a group of us went to Ingrams. Sweet, sweet Ingrams. My favorite place for Saturday morning breakfasts where I never actually ordered breakfast (grilled cheese and french fries for life!) was closing, is closing, will no longer be open. Which is devastating on so many levels. I can only be thankful that it happened after my final summer at camp so I could get out a few more trips with my friends.

The place was busy and the food was as it always has been and we got to say goodbye.

But then, it was time to get ready. I haven’t been to many weddings, and I’ve certainly never been to a camp wedding, and it was way exciting to see everyone and celebrate Karl and Caitlin at one of my favorite places.

It was weird, though.

I hadn’t seen any of these people in a month, which, if you think about it, really isn’t that long. My last day at camp was August 4th and the wedding was September 2nd so, yeah, a month. I’d gone way longer without seeing them so many times before. Months on end, nearly years. So to so many people, I don’t think it was that big of a deal that they saw me.

To be fair, many of them asked about California, and I got to gush about my life like the whole night, but still. A month. It wasn’t some grand reunion of people. I spent a lot of the night thinking, but wait, I literally have moved across the country since I’ve seen you all last. Which, again, was acknowledged. But these friends hadn’t done the moving, or the starting a new job, or the adjustment to a new place. So while they asked, they couldn’t understand how really fucking weird it was for me to be back there.

I’d said my goodbyes to camp with lots and lots and lots of crying, but then I was back.

So that was weird.

But it was also, so, so great!

When I grabbed my stuff to go get ready I passed by one of the rooms all the groomsmen were getting ready in and got a glimpse of Karl, who waved, and that was the best. And then we got ready and went to the church (which was huge and beautiful and had White Jesus all over the place) where we watched the ceremony, which was the best.

There’s something wonderful about getting to watch one of your best friend’s/role model’s/basically brother’s get to marry the person that they’re totally in love with. I’m going to gush about Karl and Caitlin but whatever, it was so cute. They were so serious the whole ceremony but every time they would look at each other they would just break into these wide and wholesome grins and they were radiating happiness and it was so pure and man, man, getting to be there was the best.

And then we went back to camp to celebrate. The whole place felt different. In my head I knew I was at camp but the bathrooms had been gendered again and the giant circus tent that had been set up in the field made the field feel… bigger. The boards had been torn down from the ladder inside the barn (whoops) and twinkle lights were all over the place and it was so soft and beautiful all at once.

(Side note: another weird thing is that it was raining. It hadn’t rained in CA since I’ve been there! The weather fools you. It’s always overcast so you always think it’s going to rain but it never does! And then suddenly I’m in Maryland where everything is green as hell and there’s rain and it was actually very overwhelming. Along with this, while I was shivering in MD, all of my housemate were being hit by the Bay Area heatwave and I only made it back in time to feel it fading. The one weekend I switched coasts, it appears so did the weather.)

I was essentially at the kids table with many other counselors, seated way in the back. Was it way far from all of the things happening toward the front of the tent like the first dance and the toasts and such? Yes. But was our table right next to the bar? Absolutely! So no complaints from me.

I spent the night dancing with friends and with lots of hugs and smiling so widely it hurt my cheeks every time I saw Caitlin and Karl. There was one point where I remember seeing the ring on Karl’s finger and being like, wait WHOAAAA, and then I pointed it out to him and he was like: I know!!!

It was just so good.

Between the secret drink just for camp counselors (wink wink) and getting to climb to the top of the barn (a literal dream come true) and getting to see Karl get MARRIED, it was a really great weekend.

Definitely worth 12 hours in a plane.

Now that I’m back in Oakland, though, I feel like it’s really finally starting. It was strange to go home, no matter how short, after just around a month away. But that was it. Unless people hop on planes and take their own miserable six hour ride out west, I’m kind of… here. And everyone else is there.

The transition is complete.

But I guess it was complete when I was sitting in the airport in BWI waiting for my plane to take me back to Oakland, thinking, “God, I can’t wait to be home.”