An Apple a Day

No one actually tells you how much worse it is to be sick as an adult.

Being sick in college, it’s not really a big deal. You can bundle up and sit in an hour long class before returning to your room. It’s okay if your brain is muddled because you just need the attendance points, you rarely have to participate if you don’t want to. Even with multiple classes a day, it’s not like you really have stuff to do. And being sick at camp, that just isn’t allowed. You push through your colds and maybe let your co-counselor shoulder a little more of the conversation than if you were at 100%. You drink Emergen-C and take Benadryl in the nurse's cabin (shout out to Space Junk always) and then you’re fine in a few days.

Being sick as an adult, though? No fucking way. Pass. Hard pass. Pass forever.

I’m currently sick. I’ve been sick since maybe Thursday, so it’s been a few days, and it’s not even like, a bad sickness. My throat’s a little scratchy. My nose is a little clogged. I’ve been way sicker than this before and still functioned. And yet, this is one of the worst colds I’ve ever had simply because unlike all the other times in my life when I was sick, I have to continue being a real person while I battle this cold.

The commute home, that 45 minutes to an hour, becomes exhausting. Every interaction with someone is like one of those computer games where you have 50 different options to chose from and only 30 seconds to decide or it picks for you and your brain is struggling to catch up.

I’m. So. Tired.

The thing about being at work is that, depending on the day, we’re not actively busy. If I had a lot of things to do all the time, I’d be able to find that steady constant to keep me going. But I like to think I’m an efficient worker, so most of the things that I could be doing I already have done. So unless someone comes into the office, I don’t have anything to do. Being sick, with nothing to do, is the worst. It’s the worst.

Friday was one of those slow days, where the office was so quiet that I was convinced no one had opened the door downstairs to let people in. My brain felt like damp sponges, but the kind of damp where someone had tried to wet them and failed so parts of the sponge were soaking and the other half were dry and stiff, and I was tired. Coffee did little to wake me up.

My cubicle is kind of off to the side so I walked over to the area where all my co-workers were gathered, talking and laughing, and plopped onto a chair.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m sick.”

“Oh, hell no.” Virginia dove into her desk and pulled out a literal face mask, the kind that people wore when swine flu was going around in 2009, and handed it to me. “Wear that. You can’t get us sick.”

It wasn’t like they were actually going to kick me out of the huddle if I didn’t wear the mask, but I pulled it on anyway because I didn’t want to spread germs. They all asked if I’d been taking care of myself and taking medicine (which I have but like, sleep medicine that makes it so I can pass out even though I can’t breathe) and let me slump over onto their desks as I tried to wake myself up.

“Go home,” they said at 11 am. I kept wrinkling my nose in response.

Just because I was sick didn’t mean I was going to abandon them. Our side of the office is small, and afternoons typically were busier, and I wanted to prove that I could show up. I felt bad because I’d been leaving early all week (by like, half an hour, but everyone insisted I leave if I didn’t have work to do--which I didn’t!) and had told myself I’d stay all day Friday regardless.

I probably should’ve gone home. The sponges in my brain shifted and thinking was hard. I sent a half-finished email to an attorney which could’ve been bad if she hadn’t emailed me back for clarification right away.

“Go home,” they said at 3:50 pm. I went home.

It was my turn to cook dinner but by the time I got home I let all my housemates know I was going to sleep before waking up to cook dinner. Thankfully Danielle offered to cook instead of me (so I would cook another day instead) so I passed out without worrying about waking up, sleeping for three hours straight.

I woke up, ate some dinner, and essentially went back to bed before sleeping about 10+ hours.

Again, I must stress that this cold is absolutely nothing compared to previous colds I’ve had in my life. And still, because of all the responsibilities I have, it feels ten billion times worse.

I’ve been taking some medicine and Carly gave me a packet of Emergen-C that I’m going to drink at some point today and later, after having coffee with my community mentor, I’m going to stop into Walgreens for some more meds so that hopefully I can be at least up to 90% for work tomorrow.

I should really invest in more tissues.

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It’s that time again!

Jenn Tries New Food

I want to preface this section by saying that one of my housemates made mac and cheese for us this week, and it was literally so good, and I was so happy and relieved that I didn’t have to shovel some unknown food into my mouth because mac and cheese. Amen, Hallelujah, praise the Lord.

Anyway, here we go.

• Eggplant Rollatini
• Working title of this before I knew what it was called was “eggplant thing with cheese”
• I was really nervous about this because I know nothing about eggplants but surprise! It was delicious!!!!
• It was so cheesy and excellent, there was cheese all over it and cheese inside and oh man, do I love cheese or what
• The eggplant (at least I’m guessing that’s the eggplant) made it sort of sweet as well? A strange array of tastes but delicious nonetheless
• I WILL ADMIT, however, that it is Not Good to take this item to work for leftovers the next day. It’s not the same. Not at all. In fact, it’s so creepy and goopy and weird, and leaves you questioning all of your life choices ever.
• French Onion Soup
• You must first know a few things about this assessment though: Soup Is So Creepy. I like, hate soup. All soups. On principle. They’re WEIRD. They’re like, liquid food!! What the heck!
• Another thing you must know: onions are WEIRD. They’re in everything? Since when????? Why are they like that?
• However, I must admit, this was pretty good. It had a warm layer of cheese on the top and there was mushy bread in it and we all know I love cheese and bread. I would probably have eaten more if I wasn’t sick. Being sick and eating this specific soup just was not a great combo. Everything looked a little like slugs. It was pretty flavorful though, which was nice.

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Things That Aren’t Important Enough For Their Own Blog Post

• Happy Bisexual Awareness Week!

I feel like this is misleading because Bisexual Awareness definitely is important enough for it’s own blogpost but I’ve posted heavily on Facebook about that. We went to Pride a couple of weekends ago (last weekend? I have no concept of time) and it was amazing and such a good space to be in.

Being bisexual in today’s society is really weird, because while I personally surround myself with people who see bisexuality as valid and real and etc etc etc, so many people out in the rest of the world… don’t? And that’s bizarre to me, to think that I’ve gone through all of these weird layers of self-discovery and finally found a piece of my identity only to have people tell me it’s not a real and valid identity. So, like, I get I can be kind of annoying about being bisexual at times but also--fuck it. I’m proud of who I am and it’s taken me a long time to not be afraid to say that.

Like, I remember when I first told my sister about it and I was so terrified that she was going to think I was weird and crazy. And like, she might have? But she called me on the phone and was like “yeah that’s totally fine you do you” which was super reassuring. (She, along with many people I know, still make those like “half lesbian” jokes which aren’t? Ok? Because I’m not a lesbian? But we keep moving forward anyway.)

So--mini post I guess! Bisexuality is real and valid and continues to be the biggest section of the LGBT+ community despite being treated like we don’t exist.

Support your local bisexual!

• Spirituality Night and Making Pizzas!

Once a month we have something called spirituality night where we meet with this pastor human named Anders and talk about our feelings. We didn’t get super into our feelings this past week but I know I’m going to eventually have to talk about The Things That Have Led Me On The Path That I’m On and --hoo, boy. Guess who’s not excited for that!

Still, this past week we made pizza which was cool, and he has a dog that’s the sweetest ever, so maybe by the time it’s my turn to dump my life story onto everyone’s laps I’ll be ready.

• Art Auction Time!

Last week (? Again, I’m losing my concept on time) one of my co-workers had this art auction for the other place he works for (Coalition on Homelessness!) and he volunteered me and my house to sign up for it. The art everywhere was absolutely beautiful and the energy was so good and it was one of those nights that just made me really happy and at peace to be in San Francisco doing my thing.

There was free dinner (and free booze) so we spent the first few hours walking around the place browsing art, and then the nicest guy (whose name I forget and am currently beating myself up about it--I was drunk ok!) drew my portrait for me and I’m absolutely in love with it, and then we all drunkely wrapped art that was auctioned off. It was the best. It was one of those nights that, when you finally crawl into bed afterwards, wraps itself around you and hums you quietly to sleep.

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Hi yes, don’t forget to donate to LVC! If you do (or already have) let me know so I can give you a shoutout!

https://lutheranvolunteercorps.nationbuilder.com/2018_volunteer_campaign