I like to think that I’m good at most things.
That’s a conceited thought, but whatever. I’m a pretty decent writer, both creatively and for papers. Even though I don’t actively play any sports, my hand-eye coordination isn’t too bad. I’m incredibly adaptable and, though I might complain, can take whatever it is that the world throws my way and work through it.
I am not good, however, at public transportation.
(Not yet, anyway.)
My first day of work was yesterday and while it was literally so good, actually getting there was a bit of a problem. To be fair, I’m not entirely sure why Carly let me be the one to figure out transportation as I’ve never lived in a city in my entire life (and she went to school in DC!), but at least it was an adventure. Those first day of work jitters had nothing on the “holy shit we are so fucking lost in Oakland” jitters, am I right? It made walking into that office a piece of warm, vanilla cake.
These are the following steps you must take to be late to your first day:
1. Get on the wrong bus.
To be fair, we were waiting at the correct bus stop, Google Maps just totally hates me and told me to get onto the bus, but okay. I turned to Carly approximately one minute after we boarded and said something along the lines of, “We’re going to opposite direction of where we’re supposed to.”
No worries though! The bus took us to a BART station (Bay Area Rapid Transit) which is what we needed to get onto to actually take us into San Francisco for work. Not the right BART station, or the BART station we were familiar with, but a BART station nonetheless. All of the BART stations can take you wherever, or something, and yes! This one looks right.
2. Get on the wrong train.
The way that the BART system works is a train can either take you toward the city of San Francisco, or away from it. Thus, the Berkley train can take you toward Berkley, or away from Berkley.
As I climbed onto the BART, relieved we’d made it after our bus debacle, I pulled up Google Maps to watch my location get farther and farther and farther away from the direction I was supposed to be going. AKA, we were going toward Berkley, away from San Francisco, and we were running out of time. The true panic that settled inside of my stomach as my blinking GPS dot went away and away and away is comparable to the sound of thunder during a cook-out dinner at camp. This was when I turned to Carly and said something like, “I think we’re on the wrong train.”
Good news! If you get off the train going the wrong way, the only other train you can get on is the train going the right way! So that's what we did. We got off on the next possible stop, crossed the station, and got onto the train that said SAN FRANCISCO in big red flashing letter. Which should've been obvious the first time. But. I digress.
3. Spill coffee all over yourself. (Optional)
In the Switching of the Trains, I closed up my handy dandy Mar-Lu-Ridge travel mug and stashed it in my bag, ready to make a quick transfer. And please, we all know how much I love MLR. I love MLR that my bones ache from missing it. That my lungs are still full of mountain air no matter how hard the city smog presses in. And yet.
MLR travel mugs really aren’t the best travel mugs.
I’d been sitting for seconds (seconds!) when I felt the spill, and oh boy. Oh boy. I pulled away my bag to reveal The Stain. Honestly, it wasn’t that bad. A small splash of coffee. But then I pulled my bag away more and when I say that it looked as though I peed myself, I mean that the coffee had leaked from my trusty (traitorous) blue MLR travel mug, right through my bag, all over my crotch. Dark wet stains. On my crotch.
(Last night as I was telling someone this story my roommate Danielle walked in and said, “Again? How many people have you told this story to!” To which I responded, “Just a few.” And then she said, “Liar. Even my mom knows!”)
It was really okay though, because at least we were on the correct train. I very easily could’ve let the fact that it looked like I wet myself make me upset (and honestly, I thought about it. Anger and sadness and the general brown feeling of Overwhelmed can creep in in an instant) but I powered on and made jokes and laughed. Of course this would happen to me. I made the best of it, the stains were gone by lunch, and life went on.
To be fair, we were ten minutes late, but it was okay! It was really, really okay. It could’ve been way worse and no one in the office seemed to mind.
(Side note: I know I'm saying it was okay a lot. Once one of my professors told me that people only say that a million times when it's not true. But I was to insist that it was, and remains to be okay.)
We had our introductions and our brief overview of how things are run and then me and Carly, my trusted travel companion (who somehow did not hate me after the literal shit storm of a morning that we had), went our separate ways. While we work in the same building, we're not doing the same job. She went to the legal side of the room, and I stayed with the rental assistance.
Over the course of the year I’ll be working at EDC with RADCo and it took me roughly an hour into the day to recognize that I could very easily fall in love with this work (and might already be). I spent most of the day shadowing, being passed from person to person, hearing the same information over and over again, but it was great. It was so great.
The briefest of summaries: What we do is we help people who can’t pay off their previous rent. We get them on a system and we make sure they don’t get evicted and the way that an individual’s face lights up when we say hey, we got it covered is just. Oh man. Oh man.
This couple who I’d never met before was shaking my hands and thanking me so much when I hadn’t even been the one to work everything out--the guy I was shadowing did! To be fair, that guy’s pretty cool and made me feel like I had a hand in how things played out anyway, but like! !! !!!
So, yeah, wow. I’m serious. The energy the office gives off, the spirit of everyone working there, the general feeling of We Know That The World Sucks And We’re Going To Do Everything In Our Power To Make Sure It Sucks A Little Less is just wow.
And like, I know I’m using a lot of italics, but seriously! When you know, you know. And I’m so fucking lucky, y’all.
It was totally okay that immediately after a day full of affirmations and omens that I was in the right place doing the right thing, I got lost on public transportation again.
Carly wasn’t with me this time but I was totally, 100% confident that I could find my way home. And I did! I made it home. (Like, almost two hours after I left work? But I made it!) I got on the right BART this time (false confidence ruins you) but I got off on the wrong stop. Only one stop early! But then I went to wait for this bus that literally never arrived. It didn’t come!
There’re a lot of bus detours and bus issues happening at the moment, so I’m blaming that, but I thought I was prepared! So I just started walking. I needed to find another bus.
The 12 pulled up and internally I was like, “I think this will take me home” but I wasn’t sure, and I’d already fucked up on transportation so much that day that I needed to be sure. So I let the 12 drive away, only to discover moments later that the 12 was what I needed to board. And the 12. Is on. A detour.
(The next one normally would arrive in 10 minutes. Because of transit troubles, the next 12 arrived in 36 minutes.)
My response was, “Fuck no.” I started walking. 36 minutes is a long time to wait! I wanted to be home! But then I realized my phone was at 5%, 4%, 3%, 2%, and finally 1%, and I would rather wait for a bus that would take an absurdly long time to reach me then get more lost in the city of Oakland.
I have literally never been as lost in my adult life as I was yesterday evening.
(Side note #2: I recognize that I'm cussing a lot but no one in California has a filter so I'm just trying to give you all the true experience.)
But again, it’s okay, and again, I mean it when I say that. The 12 finally arrived and whisked me home, and my phone didn’t even die! A true first day of work miracle.
Today was much easier. I just needed to ride public transit once to actually understand where I am and what I’m doing, and wah-lah! All of the pieces fall into place.
We got on the correct bus that took us to the correct BART station before being promptly whisked away to the city of San Francisco. I did have to stand on the train for a while, but at least we made it on time.
Work was just as phenomenal as it was yesterday. I’m still doing a lot of shadowing but the people are so full of life and so great and in every interaction I have, I learn so much.
Today, though, there was a new supervisor who hadn’t been in yesterday, and I think she failed to realize I was there the day before, and this time the repetition of everything wasn’t as helpful. I’d been anxious to shadow again, I learned the most watching things get done rather than talking about it, but I didn’t want to interrupt her. She’s one of those people who radiates authority.
So I was stuck in-between, learning and ready to learn, not quite where I wanted to be but somewhere in the middle.
It feels like stuck in the middle of a lot of things here, actually. Really owning the title of “in-betweener” that I’ve dubbed myself. All my life I’ve been the camp girl and now I’m not, as there’s another girl in my house who’s earned that title. And from there I’ve been the Harry Potter girl, and again I’m not, as another takes that as well. I’m stuck feeling like these vital pieces of who I am are smaller to everyone else than they are to me.
(Not that camp and Harry Potter are the only things that make me who I am, but like, come on. They’re pretty important.)
In the middle of learning about my new organization. In the middle of learning about living in a community. In the middle of learning about fucking public transportation. Always in the middle.
But like I said, I tend to think I’m pretty good at most things. It just takes some time.
Today the 12 bus was waiting the second we got off the BART, ready to head home, and we caught it with a minute to spare.
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